a Story of MIne

hi guys =D i am back to blogging and today i am gonna share a Story of mine to u guys  =D. this story is about my secondary school life. I used to be a gangster that do whatever he wan and dont listen to others.life was great back then. i have no worries and just smile so happily. i used to think using my fist. i do things i like and if ppl not happy with me i fight thats my life... i started smoking at the age of 12 and hanged out with my so called brothers.... i fight i smoke i drink i play... the me i used to be think that as long as i can fight lose or win dont really matters i thought ppl will respect me just because i am a gangster. but i was wrong.... i thought my fist can protect my love ones and once again i am wrong.... and now i am 18 this year and my life was so full of regrets...the so called brothers i use to love leave me one by one.... to me now family are the only ones that were always be there for me. so guys pls think before u do stupid things like how i used to be.

can u love only me.

Do u know u are always on my mind and i am always thinking about u but i dont understand what u thinking at all do u know how much i hope i can be the only one u love? i can love u with everything i got but can u? i can promise to pay attention only to u but can u? i am always wondering am i the one u are thinking at night? The moment u wake up can i be the first guy that appear in your mind? how i wish there is someone out there who can really do this just for me. do u know how lonely i am? hais things always wont go the way i want it. fml

never ending suffering is all about me.

i thought i will never be back to blogging again but i think it would make me feel much more better than keeping all the things all by myself i am going crazy my heart is bleeding all the time and the pain is making me numb. This year so many things is just keep happening..... i am still having problems with my family. i am having problems with my brothers. i have problems in my studies too. i feel so helpless i feel so lonely i had nothing i can hold on to. no one is there for me During day time i am still fine. but when its at night.... i start to think alot.... i always feel like crying at every night when i already know crying wont help me solve my problems. And u know what? There are times where i still think of u yet i dunno how to tell u. Today i went to your blog and i know u are down. hey girl cheer up k u are much more stronger than i am so i am sure u are fine. I never forget anything about u but i know we will never be tgt anymore.... hais.... i think i should stop before my tears come out on its own LOL. hao la i sound so emo! dont wan say le hahas. Going to eat my dinner le bye =)

its the end of my story

u know i am really really really sad and shagg today i having trouble with my studies and family too. I am really sorry for my attitude for today and ya i trust u and ya i think i really still cant forget about u at all i still love u. last long with your boy i am sure he will be 100% better than i am i am sure of this i am sure he can give u the happiness that i cant. Today will be the last time i update my blog because this blog is just for u and me but i think everything is no longer the same as before time will never go back so ya i got to move on to a life without u. i will be fine so dont worry. bb tc.

i am crying once again =::(

hmm i dunno where to start. i thought everything will be fine i thought i will never cry again le but how i know i cry once again le my heart cant take it anymore le hahas i tried my very best to keep my tears inside the bottom of my heart le yet its coming out again hahas i thought i forget about u le but maybe i am wrong i though my wound heal le but i realize wound will never heal it become a deep scar in my heart and it will open up anytime anywhere hahas i am going crazy i cant control my emothions anymore fml.

u are still inside my mind.

Hmm lets start talking about new year huh hmm my ang bao like a little only leh =( sad case lol and kind of boring this year actually to me nothing is fun anymore hahas so ya hmm for today i went to s to meet  my brother leh and had so much fun today maybe to me now the only happiness is to hang out with them ba hahas hmm today while walking towards sp with aae kia they all we saw 2 girl in uniform and i thought is U sia.... i was kind of happy and sad i thought i get to see u but in the end its a false alarm =( hmm your life seem good to be hahas and work hard for your studies k hahas dont end up like a useless person like me hehe negetive again huh hahas ok la not negetive la i am just telling a fact nia. hmm just reach home and dunno what to do now and a good news i nowadays seldom smoke le hehe =) a good start huh but my studies still kind of cmi =( hope i can get to higher nitec ba omg may god bless me man hehe. 171020100221 is something i can never forget.</3

Do i still stand a chance? i love u and i really do

hmm i am now inside having a short break and ya i am still thinking of u missing u no matter how hard i try u just keep appearing in my mind out of a sudden. Maybe this is the prove how much i really miss u and how much i love u ba but what can i do? i no longer have the right to do anything le..... ok la my lesson end le gtg continue next time ba love and miss u........<3

Things are no longer like it used to be

I am back to blogging once again. Every time i blog u will always appear but now i dont know wat to write anymore. i really miss u from the day u left me till now i never forget anything about u. I am still stuck at the time when we are still together i really love u lots. there are alot of times i wanna talk to u wanna msg u but i really dunno wat to say anymore i dunno how to face u anymore wat should i do u promise to never let me go de ma why in the end we broke up i wanted to patch but do i still stand a chance? Can i still make u smile? Wat can i do? i dunno i feel so useless the only thing i know now is to cover my tears with a smile and nothing more. u still got come to my blog ma i still always go see your fb and blog. u got miss me alot ma? u still got keep thinking of me ma? when u think of watching movie u got think of me ma? when u talking on phone with a friend u got think of me ma? everything i do i think of u... ok its time to stop my tears are dropping down le bb