Jason Is Dead

today is the 2 day since we break up and i haven sleep at all...... i feel so dead now nothing is important to me anymore....... since the day i lost u there is nothing that can make me smile like i used to anymore. i fail to make u happy....... i feel so stupid for letting u go. hate myself really....how i wish i could die now but i promise u i wont so at least i can keep this just for u ba. i hope u will always stay happy and i think u will be happier without me ba i miss u lots...... tears just keep coming down. now that u are gone i suddenlly feel so lonely and cold no longer have the warm feeling le. hais now i am dead only body is alive but my soul is dead

dream is always a dream...

hmm i am back to blogging hmm its already going a month since i last saw my baby during this few weeks alot things happen both of us no longer look like a stead i dunno why i am always trying to do things for u but yet i keep making u angry i care for u but maybe i care too much that make u feel like i am overreacting ba and ya so i try to do stupid things like try not to love u so much so i wont make u feel that i never give u freedom so i started becoming more and more cold towards u but i realize this is not working at all and it became worst.... hais i fail man.. but i never give up! i really treasure this relationship and i really love u alot even when i pretend to be cold to u that time i am really suffering i cant well every single night every night i play game watch anime till i cannot take it le then auto sleep de got many times i wanna ask u wat u doing eat le ma or have u sleep well but i stop myself. how stupid i am to do those hurtful things to u..... wth i am thinking man! sometimes i really hate myself for doing things like this i really miss you my dear miss u so much that i dream of u eating with me at a coffee shop its just a little while i jui wake up le but i am still very happy because i can still see u in my dream but its still a dream =( today i ask u this week gonna meet? and u say gonna wait till school reopen... i am sad because i cant get to see u for another week. things is not going well for us and i am really scare that we will break. our old times is gone no more chatting on phone no more long long msg your blog no longer have me too =( this is why i am being over sensitive as time pass by our conversation become lesser and lesser =( i wan to do things that will make u forget about all the unhappy things that is in your mind i wan to make up for every wrong things that i had done so can u pls give me a chance to make up for it? i am scare real scare i dont wanna lose u. i dream of meeting u i wish u are here with me right now but dream is always a dream and wish is just a wish... so i will stop wishing and dreaming instead i will try my best to make my dream and wish come true i will make this relationship a sweet one as long as u dont give up on me =) i love u <3

today whole day only saw a few msg from u.. our relationship like become more and more cold and seem so near yet so far i dont wan to lose u i choose to love u and i will not regret... we were once sweet yet now become like this. I just had a dream in my dream i am with U i was so happy i finally get to see u we were eating together at a coffee shop and u are smiling and when i wake up i was smiling too but i realize its just a dream how i wish all those unhappy things was just a dream too....me love u <3

hmm i am back to blogging hehe =) hmm.... ytd i chat with my baby and realize that i am not a good bf too hehe i am too sensitive le and i am too xiao qi le hahas so ya i think its time for me to grow up ba hehe i dont wan my gf to feel that she is having a very childish and unreasonable bf LOL. ya so hehe i will grow up for sure its a must hahas and i next year really must study hard le cannot keep on slacking like i always do le hais hope i wont always late for school too so i wan to play as much as i can for this holiday cause after this i dont think i will have anytime for me to play le. hmm  dunno wat to say le sia.... hm lets talk about today hmm today i went to aae kia school to wait for him to take his n level things lol wa its so fking hot lor........... hot till so bth so in the end we took cab home llol. nothing to do at my house so me aae kia and lao jie starting playing 3 ppl mahjong lol. ok la nothing to say le hehe bye

hais..... start to feel kind of lonely again other ppl dont trust me nvm why my own family member dont trust me too.... hais life is kind of sad huh? unhappy things just keep going on and on again and again..... i tried not to be negetive but  bad things just keep on happening. maybe this year really not a very good year ba hope bad things  end this year ba.

why i keep hurting those important ppl around me?...... =:::( today i quarrel with my baby and make her sad.... then i made my brother say sorry when i know we both wont say sorry to ppl yet because of me he say sorry to other ppl..... he do so much things for me yet wat i have done for him? and because of this i made my jie sad also.... i really dunno wat to do now le hais............. =:::::( i dunno how to face them le

hais this few days sux........... keep having quarrel with my baby i dunno wat to do also -.- i wan back to old times........ those sweet sweet days we spent toegther. baby u know wat after so many quarrel yet my love for u is still the same... i am sorry for my hot temper and my attitude when i am angry i hope u can understanding and dont blame me k =) baby i really miss u lot and sorry for being so paranoid i got alot of things wana tell u but i just dunno how to say.... i just hope we wont always quarrel and be more loving. Jason Love Die Sophia <3

hmm i am back to blogging hais so sian now playing mahjong with  aae kia lao jie and ah pek hmm i miss my baby alot wor hahas wow my internet is finally back! nice la hehe finally can play games with my baby le hahas hmm baby something like bothering u again le wor.... hope is i think too much ba hehe baby i really love  ttm sia =) and i know u love me ttm too LOL so bhb sia me hahas hmm when can i get to see u again wor? =( this whole week never meet u le leh miss die u le la =( hope to see u soon k hehe =) ok la nothing to say le back to my mahjong time hehe =) bye guys

Hmm i am back to blogging..... Today is a boring day omg sian till going die le.... Exam is coming soon omg hope will pass ba just now i went to yishun to meet my classmate to lend some book to copy notes this few days cannot go out play le =( need go home study omg..... few days never meet my baby le so sian i miss her so much! hope to see her soon actually thought i can get to see her on monday de but she told me she maybe cant meet me cause of school reopen things.... omg miss die her le sia so sian now at lan shop nothing to do lol  a few mins ago was playing games with my baby hehe =) baby i love u so much hehe <3 ok la dunno wat to say le hehe =) bye guys

Ytd is a bad day for me =:::( have a little quarrel with my baby =( when we quarrel i feel so sad as if the whole world is breaking apart..... i wan to smile but i cant i wan to stop my tears but i also cant....... there is nothing i can do..... but finally its over my world is back =) i can smile once again =) But something still seems to bothering my baby =( that make me so sad when i see my baby no mood i become moody too the worst thing is i know my baby is moody yet i cant do anything to make her back to normal..... =( i wan to be a good bf that can do anything just to make her smile everyday but i cant.....even now i am still trying my best to think of a way to make her happy..... wish me lucks huh =) i wan to be the guy my baby love the most.... my baby say there is no forever =( if really no forever then i hope we can last as long as possible ba =) hmm now i am having my class test omg cmi sia and my baby is still sleeping. baby ah baby have a good rest and forget every thing that will make u sad k? hehe love die u le i am sorry for being so paranoid u say if i change i will not be the Jason u know le but i will try not to be so paranoid de k =) Baby told me nothing is bothering her le but baby still make me feel that somthing is bothering her...... its like so cold this few days..... make me feel so insecure hope we can be fine soon i dont wan any quarrels le quarrel make my heart break...... BAby i am sorry for having quarrel with u again and again sorry Baby i wont think negetive le k =) LOVE DIE U <3