a Story of MIne

hi guys =D i am back to blogging and today i am gonna share a Story of mine to u guys  =D. this story is about my secondary school life. I used to be a gangster that do whatever he wan and dont listen to others.life was great back then. i have no worries and just smile so happily. i used to think using my fist. i do things i like and if ppl not happy with me i fight thats my life... i started smoking at the age of 12 and hanged out with my so called brothers.... i fight i smoke i drink i play... the me i used to be think that as long as i can fight lose or win dont really matters i thought ppl will respect me just because i am a gangster. but i was wrong.... i thought my fist can protect my love ones and once again i am wrong.... and now i am 18 this year and my life was so full of regrets...the so called brothers i use to love leave me one by one.... to me now family are the only ones that were always be there for me. so guys pls think before u do stupid things like how i used to be.

can u love only me.

Do u know u are always on my mind and i am always thinking about u but i dont understand what u thinking at all do u know how much i hope i can be the only one u love? i can love u with everything i got but can u? i can promise to pay attention only to u but can u? i am always wondering am i the one u are thinking at night? The moment u wake up can i be the first guy that appear in your mind? how i wish there is someone out there who can really do this just for me. do u know how lonely i am? hais things always wont go the way i want it. fml

never ending suffering is all about me.

i thought i will never be back to blogging again but i think it would make me feel much more better than keeping all the things all by myself i am going crazy my heart is bleeding all the time and the pain is making me numb. This year so many things is just keep happening..... i am still having problems with my family. i am having problems with my brothers. i have problems in my studies too. i feel so helpless i feel so lonely i had nothing i can hold on to. no one is there for me During day time i am still fine. but when its at night.... i start to think alot.... i always feel like crying at every night when i already know crying wont help me solve my problems. And u know what? There are times where i still think of u yet i dunno how to tell u. Today i went to your blog and i know u are down. hey girl cheer up k u are much more stronger than i am so i am sure u are fine. I never forget anything about u but i know we will never be tgt anymore.... hais.... i think i should stop before my tears come out on its own LOL. hao la i sound so emo! dont wan say le hahas. Going to eat my dinner le bye =)

its the end of my story

u know i am really really really sad and shagg today i having trouble with my studies and family too. I am really sorry for my attitude for today and ya i trust u and ya i think i really still cant forget about u at all i still love u. last long with your boy i am sure he will be 100% better than i am i am sure of this i am sure he can give u the happiness that i cant. Today will be the last time i update my blog because this blog is just for u and me but i think everything is no longer the same as before time will never go back so ya i got to move on to a life without u. i will be fine so dont worry. bb tc.